Swine Flu

Parker is sick, and I think he has the swine flu. I don't know for sure, because I did not take him to a doctor. Doctors charge money to tell you your child has the swine flu, please take him home and put him to bed. Being perpetually poor, we skipped the doctor step, because we have something better and free--the Internet. Bless you WebMD, my family's other doctor. I went down the list of symptoms with Parker, and the poor kid had almost all of them. Since the swine flu is going around Parker's school and the ward, I was pretty sure I had accurately diagnosed him.

Now saying your child has the swine flu sounds much worse than saying your child has any old common variety of flu. It makes me sound like an amazing mom to have weathered the swine flu virus, when in all actuality I just kept the Tylenol and fluids down Parker and changed the DVDs every 90 minutes.

And now why I love being Mormon. My neighbor, Makenna, knocked on my door this morning asking for a ride to school. I told her I couldn't give her one, because Parker was sick, possibly with the swine flu. Ten minutes later I get a phone call from my next door neighbor, "I hear Parker has the swine flu. What can I do?" (Thank you, Makenna.) One hour later I get a call from my visiting teaching companion. "I hear Parker has the swine flu. Do you need some soup or something?" A few hours later our home teacher and his wife knock on our door with homemade spice cake in hand. "I hear Parker has the swine flu. Here's some cake. What do you need?" I told no one from the ward that Parker was sick, but by the end of the day everyone knows. I love that. And I love cake. Poor Parker is too sick to eat any. But someone's got to eat it. And I did just do sixteen minutes and 38 seconds of "Dance of the Inches: Tummy Tone Party Zone" before I got sick of it and turned it off. I'll just add that to the job description of mother of swine flu patient--Tylenol dispenser, DVD switcher, cake eater. I've got this covered.