Speckled Frogs

Family Home Evening starts out fairly ordinary with our family singing, "Five Little Speckled Frogs." This is a family favorite, and Deacon is jumping off the couch into the "water" licking up imaginary bugs off the floor. After prayer, it's Deacon's turn for scripture.

"Say 'Blessed are the pure in heart,'" I begin.

"No, I don't like that scripture," he says. "I want to do my own scripture."

He grabs a blue marker and scribbles circles all over a paper. "I drew a scripture."

"What does it say?"

"It says the Lamanites were sitting on a log, and they jumped in the pool with the speckled frogs."

"The Lamanites, huh?"

"Yeah, and then there were three people left and Nephi said, 'Don't jump in Lemuel.' But he jumped in the pool. Then Nephi said, 'Don't jump in the pool, Sam.' But he jumped in. Then Nephi was left. And he jumped in the water."

Parker, laughing, "You should blog about this mom."

Done.

Haircut

Parker needed a haircut. I hate cutting Parker's hair. Parker hates having me cut his hair. The last time I cut his hair Chris said, "He looks like a monk."

So I had to use some bribery to convince Parker to sit still. He's trying to earn the Lego Star Wars Visual Dictionary with a good behavior chart. "I'll let you color in four squares on your chart if you let me cut your hair."

"Deal."

Thirty seconds into the haircut, "This is definitely worth five squares."

Two minutes into the haircut, "Why don't you make dad go through this?"

"Because dad would be too whiny about it."

"Even whinier than me?"

We suffered through the haircut together. My haircutting skills are limited, but my ability to get hair down the shirt, in the eyes, etc. is stellar. "Alright your done."

"I think I deserve eight squares."

"Give me a good reason why you should get eight squares."

"There's hair down my underwear."

"Eight squares it is."

Happy Valentine's Day

I know I should be annoyed at him for being mean to his sister, but the conflicting messages make me laugh.

Theme Song

I'm eating my scrambled eggs and bacon, when I notice something. Each of my children are singing their own theme song. Parker is humming the Star Wars theme song. Deacon is singing the theme song to Toy Story, and McKay is singing a song off a Leapfrog DVD. The competing melodies don't seem to bother them. I'm musing over what would be the Davis Family Eats Breakfast theme song, when Deacon finishes his song and crawls across the table. He presses his forehead and nose against mine, and when our eyeballs align inches away he asks, "Was that a great song, mom?"

"Yes, please get off the table."

"Parker, would you sing me a song?" Deacon asks. Parker obliges, and McKay bounces out of her place and begins an interpretive dance throughout the kitchen to the beat of Parker's song.

Parker finishes his song. "Mom," he exclaims, "Did you know that grandma didn't have a TV in her house when she was a little girl? I mean, how did she live?"

Ignoring Parker's obvious TV addiction, I ask McKay, "Where's daddy? I thought you woke him up."

"Well, I tried lifting his eyelids up, but he didn't really move."

Parker butts in, "You have to give him a hug and kiss to wake him up."

"Oh," McKay says, "that's why it didn't work."

At that moment a groggy Chris comes stumbling into the kitchen, just as Parker's proclaiming, "Did you know the book I'm reading was written in the 90s?"

Chris says, "The 90s, huh?"

And then he begins singing, "I just want to live my life like it's the 90's...Like it's a TV show..."

Well, hubby, we've at least got the theme song covered.

For Your Entertainment

At dinner tonight, I told that family what I overheard this morning. "I heard Deacon talking to himself. He was having an imaginary conversation."

Deacon (to himself): "Did you say butt go go?"

Deacon (answering himself): "Yes, I said butt go go."

Everyone laughs.

Parker: "That's the Davis in him."

Now everyone decides they have to outdo Deacon, by being funnier than him. (This is really the Davis in all of them coming out.)

Parker begins. "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"You are not allowed to continue with this joke."

McKay: "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Centipede."

"Centipede who?"

"Santa peed on the Christmas tree."

(My father-in-law introduced that joke to my kids two years ago, and it's still going strong.)

Deacon: "Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Santa peed on the Christmas tree."

This joke is followed by Deacon fake laughing like a maniac.

Davis humor at its finest.