High and Not So Dry

Saturday was the Relief Society broadcast, and I really needed to go to escape my children.

Me: "I've thought it over, and I've decided to trade our children in for a puppy."

Chris: "Rough day, huh?"

Me: "Uh, yeah."

Chris: "What are you doing now?"

Me: "I'm on petfinder.com. Oh, look at this puppy. It's black and white."

So at six o'clock, I turned childcare responsibility over to my hubby. I went to the broadcast with my mom and left the kids and husband at my parents' home. With a steady supply of college football and snacks, what more could they want?

Answer: A clean pull-up.

As all readers of my blog know, I am very slowly and painfully potty-training Deacon. I left Deacon in a clean pull-up. I, however, failed to leave extra pull-ups in case of accidents. I also failed to leave detailed instructions on Deacon's toilet training habits. Consequently, a disaster occurred.

Note: My husband works for the Red Cross. He is trained to handle disasters.

Chris: "You didn't leave me any pull-ups."

Me: "Oops."

Chris: "And Deacon pooped."

Me: "What did you do?"

Chris: "I made my own diaper."

Me: "What?"

Chris: "Well, to be fair, your dad and brother helped me gather supplies."

Me: "Supplies?"

Chris: "Toilet paper, a pad, and electrical tape. We couldn't find duct tape."

Me: "This I have to see."

I found Deacon sound asleep, completely dry. His bottom was swathed in a toilet paper bundle, held together with many layers of electrical tape. That thing was so secure I had to use scissors to cut it off his body.

As the incident made me laugh much more than any puppy could, I have decided to keep my children. Besides, puppies don't come potty-trained.