Road Trip

We spent our fourth of July in Salt Lake with my sister. My newest nephew, Silas, was blessed on Sunday. Thanks, Emily, for your hospitality; it was fun.

Now to get to Salt Lake and back, we have to make a six hour road trip. Except that it took eight hours on the way down and ten hours on the way back. It took so long, because we had to teach our children many valuable lessons.

First lesson: Definition of Irony.

McKay: "I'm going to throw up right now!"

Me: "You're carsick. We're almost to an exit. Eat this cracker. Drink this juice. Roll down a window. Just hold on! I don't want my van to smell like vomit!"

Chris takes the next exit and pulls off into a Walmart parking lot.

Me: "Come on, McKay, let's get you a Sprite and have you walk around Walmart for awhile."

Chris: "This is going to take forever."

Me: "If we don't take a break, she's going to throw up in the van and that will not be pretty. If she gets out and walks, she'll feel better."

After a thirty minute Walmart adventure, I seat belt McKay back in the van. The moment I click the seat belt in, she proceeds to throw up all over herself and the van.

Second lesson: Don't judge a book by its cover.

Me: "Look children, there's a nature area behind our hotel. Let's go explore."

Children: "Yea! Nature!"

Me: "Look at these wild flowers! Look at this path! Look at this poison ivy! Look at this homeless man sleeping among the trees! Let's go back inside the hotel and watch TV!"

Third lesson: Good parents tie up their children.

We were shopping in Smith and Edwards. If you have ever driven past Brigham City and seen a billboard stating, "We have everything...if we can find it," you've seen the sign for this establishment. Perhaps you've looked at this store, surrounded by old missiles, and wondered, "What type of person would shop at such a place?" That would be the Chris and Kodie Davis type of person.

In the past we have bought such important items as the largest wooden spoon known to mankind and the grabby thing we use to get stuff that falls behind the dryer. This time after trying on all types of army, navy, and air force hats (Deacon with hat on his head: "I look adorable."), we found an item I have been searching for--a child leash.

I've been wanting to leash Deacon for sometime. No shopping cart can contain this child. He also had no fear and no desire to hang around with mom. So fearing for his safety, I am leashing him. "This is going to be awesome!" I told Chris, "Now when we are in a store, I can just give the leash to Parker and tell him to go walk his brother." Reality: Leash is disguised as a teddy bear backpack. Deacon likes backpack but dislikes being contained. Deacon: "Can I hold my tail?" Hmmm. I'm not giving up on this one yet.

Lesson Four: Patience is a virtue.

Ten hours in a van together with five people who refuse to coordinate their bladders. Enough said.