How to Have a Successful Marriage

1. Don't Get Grumpy Over Being Grumpy

"Aaaagghhh! Why are the children making me so grumpy lately?" I asked Chris after I'd finally got all of them to bed tonight.

"Actually, you've just been grumpy in general lately."

"I know it."

"That's why I love you. You don't get mad when I call you grumpy."

2. Laughing at Pain=Love

Last week when Chris ended up in the ER, (Note: Visits to the ER have become so routine, that they no longer warrant their own post.), he had sticky band-aid circle things stuck to his chests. When it was time to leave, the nurse told him he could take the band-aids off.

"Oh, please, please can I take them off?" I begged.

Before Chris realized what was happening, I had that band-aid in hand and with a quick yank, band-aid and chest hair came flying.

"AAAAAHHH!" He screamed. "This is band-aid removal, not a waxing!"

I was laughing too hard to respond to his comment. The nurse, sensing Chris's pain, showed me how to gently remove the next one.

"I get the last one!" I declared, giggling.

"Are you worried about her laughing?" the nurse asked.

"I love my wife," Chris defended, "She's--AAAAAAGGGHHH!"

She's holding a band-aid covered in chest hair, laughing hysterically.

3. Don't Go to Bed Angry.

"You're not letting me go to sleep," Chris said last night. "You keep talking to me, and you're sleeping too close to me."

"One, my side off the bed is too cold, so get over it. Two, all I said is you should have told me the Backstreet Boys were coming to Boise on Saturday."

"Why would we have wanted to go to the Backstreet Boys concert?"

"For entertainment and humor value."

"That wouldn't have been funny or entertaining."

"For you. Also, I resisted telling you that a New Kids on the Block song came on the radio today, and it was awesome."

"Are you going to stop talking to me? And please roll over to your side of the bed."

"Ahhh-I'm so mad at you!"

Two minutes of silence later. "I hate it when you're mad at me. Why aren't you talking to me?"

"I'm not mad. And I'm not talking to you because I'm almost asleep."

"Oh, I love you."

"I love you,too. Goodnight."