Flamingos and Stuff Like That

I should have recognized it as an omen when Deacon peed on my foot.

Yesterday I was at the park with the kids. We had come a few minutes early to our homeschool P.E. co-op. My kids were happily playing on the playground, when Deacon announced he had an urgent need to use the restroom. It was so urgent that when I pulled his undies down in the bathroom, he didn't wait to get into position. He simply let loose. He let loose all over my foot. Consequently I found myself balancing on one foot like a flamingo, while trying to wash my other foot off in the sink, all in a bathroom that didn't contain paper towels.

After an hour and a half of soccer, kickball, and playground time, my kids were hot and sweaty and ready to go home. I would have liked to obliged but I had a little problem.

My tire was flat.

And...

My husband was out of town.

My husband was out of cell phone range.

I didn't know where the spare tire was.

I didn't know where the jack was.

I had never changed a tire.

My cell phone battery was dying.

So, I called my mom, so she could tell me what to do. (This is what moms are for.) She suggested I call Les Schwab Tires. I did. They told me they would be right over to help me out. (Apparently right over meant 85 minutes later.)

"Ah, here's your problem," the helpful tire guy said. (Let's call him Jeremy, since that is actually his name.) "Do you see this piece of metal stuck in your tire?"

Yes, I did.

"I'll inflate your tire with air and then follow you back to the tire center to get it repaired."

"How long is this going to take?"

"Do you have urgent plans?"

"Yeah, it's half-price Happy Meal night."

After two hours of playing in the park for P.E., and then an extra hour and a half of playing waiting for the tire guy, Deacon had had it. He crashed in the car on the ten minute drive to the tire center. I carried him into Les Schwab and held him while I waited for my tire to be fixed. The kid was out cold. Which is how I found myself trying to hold a sleeping three and half year old in my arms while digging through my purse for my debit card. Then I remembered the flamingo. I pulled one of my feet up to my knee and balanced Deacon on my "leg shelf" while balancing myself on one foot while finding my hidden debit card.

As the cycle began, so it ended. I began the afternoon in flamingo position. I ended it in flamingo position. And somewhere in the middle I learned something. I learned that this better not be a repeating cycle.