I have blogged about horrible Walmart shopping experiences before. But you know, it's summer, time to recycle old material. Here's how I spent my afternoon.
McKay needed a birthday party gift, and she kept reminding me of this need all morning long. It was a real emergency--she told me I was "killing her life" by not taking her to the store. So around noon we finally made it to Walmart.
No trip to Walmart is complete without running into Ducky. Ducky is a cart boy at Walmart. I went to high school with him. He proposed to me in front of my entire government class. For those Emmettite readers who read my blog and are wondering what Ducky is doing twelve years later, he is still living at home with his parents and hanging out with Booger and Buck. Who could forget Buck? Sure he might have gotten expelled for stabbing a kid with sheet metal in shop class, but he did promise to warn me the day he blew up the school so I could stay home. He's got his faults, but you know, a nice guy overall.
Anyway, past Ducky Walmart interactions have included him teaching me a secret handshake, pulling me over to a computer to show me a cool website about Bigfoot sightings in Idaho, scaring me to death when he banged on my my window as I was backing out to admonish me to vote for McCain, trying to pay back a dime he borrowed in high school, and constantly checking up on my marital status. This time he just wanted to find out if I was going to the Cherry Festival. Pretty boring stuff. So I entered Walmart with Ducky tagging along begging me to have the cashier page him when I checked out, so he could help me load my groceries in the van. Yeah, that's going to happen.
Highlights of a horrible two hour trip:
*McKay having a meltdown that she was going to throw up unless she ate food that very second.
*McKay sitting on Walmart floor eating goldfish crackers and refusing to budge.
*McKay knocking over a shelf of pickles and miraculously not breaking any.
*McKay and Deacon creating indoor "snow" with box of Kleenex.
*Deacon taking his shoes off and tossing them on ground.
*Deacon tossing assorted groceries to the ground.
*Deacon attempting to toss self to the ground.
*Deacon getting foot caught in cart.
*Deacon running barefoot throughout store.
*Deacon's mother saying small swear word under her breath.
*Deacon's mother singing "Patience is a virtue."
*Deacon's mother vowing never to leave home again.
9 comments:
ha! I mean, my sympathies.
You have described Ducky to a quack and left me rolling on the ground.
You have described Ducky to a quack.
I see we have another generation of low-blood-sugar-induced crankiness if meals aren't on time!
Kodie I feel for you but know you are not in this alone I think at least 3 of the 4 neighborhood moms have said in the past week they will no longer shop with their children because of similar experiences. All three of my big ones were at friends yesterday afternoon so I ran to Walmart it was soooo nice!!
Dread has filled me as I realize I have to stop in at Walmart this week. I'm now thinking that maybe I'll do it at night after they are in bed.
So happy for you that the pickle jars kept it together. I think I would have left them on the ground, maybe scooted them over to the side; Did you?
The phrase "stay at home mom" definitely has more than one meaning. ;)
Only one small swear word under the breath...nice control...I'm impressed!
Hey Kodie,
It's Karen. I thought that your comments on Ducky were hilarious--oh my goodness. You brought back a flood of high school memories. I had totally forgotten about Booger and Buck too. You know that they made Ducky graduate w/ our class. So for his senior quote, he put something like this down...Bjorkman, don't feel bad that you drive an aircraft carrier and why does Brian Walker get all of the women? I'm sure that Riki was really flattered...
Oh, man, this post made me laugh! I remember Ducky & Booger, I'm not sure who Buck is though...
But this sounds like a typical trip to Walmart for us-minus the Ducky interaction...but I think I can do without that :)
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